How to build a relationship that survives desire gaps, life changes, and decades — advice from couples who’ve done it
20 years. 3 kids. 2 career changes. 1 period of near-divorce. The couples who make it don’t have perfect sex lives — they have resilient ones. What I learned from people who’ve stayed together.
Disability and desire — navigating sex when your body doesn’t cooperate, from someone who knows
Chronic pain. Limited mobility. A body that doesn’t always do what you want. Sex and disability isn’t a niche topic — it’s millions of people’s daily reality. And nobody talks about it.
I want sex twice a day and my partner wants it twice a month. The desire gap is real — here’s how we navigate it.
I’m the one who wants more. I used to feel rejected, needy, unwanted. Then we stopped treating my desire as the problem and started treating the gap as a shared challenge. It changed everything.
The first year of marriage was the worst sex of our relationship. Here’s why — and how we fixed it.
Everyone told us the wedding night would be magical. Nobody told us the year after could be a sexual desert. Why newlywed sex often tanks — and what we did to bring it back.
Can kink actually heal trauma? The clinical perspective — what research says, what it doesn’t, and what therapists wish you knew.
Some therapists use BDSM-informed approaches to treat PTSD. Some say it’s dangerous. The truth is more nuanced. What the research actually shows about kink and trauma recovery.
I still fantasise about my ex. Does that mean something is wrong with my current relationship?
You’re in a happy relationship. Then out of nowhere — your ex appears in your fantasy. You feel guilty. You feel confused. Here’s what it actually means. Spoiler: probably nothing about your current partner.
I’ve been fat my whole life and was told I should be grateful anyone wants to touch me. I’m done believing that.
From diet culture to dating apps to doctors who assume my health based on my weight — I’ve spent 35 years being told my body is a problem. It’s not. My body is the home I live in. And I’m done apologising.
I loved him. I just didn’t want to sleep with him. When sexual incompatibility can’t be fixed.
It wasn’t anyone’s fault. We were just mismatched — in desire, in curiosity, in the things that turned us on. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was also the right thing.
He said “that thing is weird” and I wanted to disappear. How to handle it when your partner doesn’t get it.
I showed him what I was into. He looked at it like it was evidence in a crime scene. The shame was immediate and overwhelming. Here’s what I did next — and what I wish I’d known.
My mum found my toy drawer and the conversation that followed changed our relationship.
She was looking for a phone charger. She opened the wrong drawer. I wanted the floor to swallow me. Then she said something I will never forget.