The first time I tried to buy a vibrator, I stood in a shop for 20 minutes and left with nothing. The options were overwhelming. The packaging was embarrassing. I didn’t know what any of the terms meant. Was I supposed to want rabbit ears? What was a bullet? Why did some cost £15 and some cost £150? I went home empty-handed and didn’t try again for a year. I should have had a guide. Here’s the one I’ve now written — for everyone who’s standing in that shop, or scrolling that website, with absolutely no idea where to start.
Know what kind of stimulation you like — or guess based on this
If you’ve ever orgasmed before, think about how it happened. Was it external stimulation? Then a clitoral vibrator — a bullet or a wand — is probably your best bet. Was it internal? Look for a G-spot vibrator or a classic insertable. Both? A rabbit-style gives you both at once. If you’ve never orgasmed — and many women haven’t, that’s normal — start with external. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Start there. You can always add internal later.
Material matters — this is going on your body
Medical-grade silicone. That’s the gold standard. It’s body-safe, non-porous, easy to clean. Avoid anything labeled jelly, rubber, or TPE/TPR for insertable toys — these materials are porous, can harbour bacteria, and often contain phthalates. If the packaging doesn’t say what it’s made of, don’t buy it. Price point: a decent silicone vibrator starts around £25-40. Don’t buy the cheapest option. It’s going on the most sensitive part of your body. Don’t cheap out on materials.
Your first pick — skip the 15-setting monstrosity
You don’t need 15 vibration patterns. You probably need 3: low, medium, high. Start simple. A bullet vibrator is small, unintimidating, and effective. A small silicone wand is versatile. Don’t buy the rabbit with rotating beads and a heating function and Bluetooth connectivity. You’re not buying a car. Start simple. Learn what you like. Upgrade later.
Buying your first vibrator is not embarrassing. It’s research. You’re not being indulgent. You’re being curious. Curiosity is how we learn. Learning is how we grow. Your body is worth the homework.
More stories like this.
Real talk about desire, intimacy, and figuring yourself out. No spam. Just honest writing.