100 honest lessons about sex, desire, and intimacy I wish I’d known at 20 — a letter to my younger self
I’m 30 and I’ve been writing about desire for years. Here’s everything I’d tell my 20-year-old self — about bodies, about boundaries, about what actually matters. The honest version.
Temperature play — why ice and warm wax are the two cheapest, most effective tools in your bedroom
You don’t need expensive gear. A candle and an ice cube will change how your body experiences sensation. The complete beginner’s guide to temperature play — safely.
The sex talk I never got — and the one I’m determined to have with my daughter
My mother handed me a pad and changed the subject. I’m determined to do better. What a real, honest conversation about bodies and desire could look like for the next generation.
How to build a relationship that survives desire gaps, life changes, and decades — advice from couples who’ve done it
20 years. 3 kids. 2 career changes. 1 period of near-divorce. The couples who make it don’t have perfect sex lives — they have resilient ones. What I learned from people who’ve stayed together.
Disability and desire — navigating sex when your body doesn’t cooperate, from someone who knows
Chronic pain. Limited mobility. A body that doesn’t always do what you want. Sex and disability isn’t a niche topic — it’s millions of people’s daily reality. And nobody talks about it.
I want sex twice a day and my partner wants it twice a month. The desire gap is real — here’s how we navigate it.
I’m the one who wants more. I used to feel rejected, needy, unwanted. Then we stopped treating my desire as the problem and started treating the gap as a shared challenge. It changed everything.
The first year of marriage was the worst sex of our relationship. Here’s why — and how we fixed it.
Everyone told us the wedding night would be magical. Nobody told us the year after could be a sexual desert. Why newlywed sex often tanks — and what we did to bring it back.
Can kink actually heal trauma? The clinical perspective — what research says, what it doesn’t, and what therapists wish you knew.
Some therapists use BDSM-informed approaches to treat PTSD. Some say it’s dangerous. The truth is more nuanced. What the research actually shows about kink and trauma recovery.
I still fantasise about my ex. Does that mean something is wrong with my current relationship?
You’re in a happy relationship. Then out of nowhere — your ex appears in your fantasy. You feel guilty. You feel confused. Here’s what it actually means. Spoiler: probably nothing about your current partner.
I’ve been fat my whole life and was told I should be grateful anyone wants to touch me. I’m done believing that.
From diet culture to dating apps to doctors who assume my health based on my weight — I’ve spent 35 years being told my body is a problem. It’s not. My body is the home I live in. And I’m done apologising.